“I don’t care what other people think.” “I don’t have to
answer to anyone.” I hear these types of phrases often. Normally reserved for
teenagers but used by many, these phrases are often meant to hide how much the
person actually does care. They also hold an air of self-righteous arrogance.
That being said, could there be evidence of intrapersonal strength and virtue
in being apathetic to other people’s opinions?
Barely. It is true that frequently in the Bible, most
explicitly in Romans 12:2, God tells us not to “conform to the pattern of this
world.” There is virtue in spurning any of the trends or popular activities of
this world that contradict God’s will. In that way, it makes sense for Christians
to minimize the role that popular opinion or opposing views play in our lives.
We do this to keep those around us from having a negative influence on our walk
with Christ.
However, God calls us not to just be influenced but to be
influencers. To be able to influence people, we have to have their respect. No
one respects the Christian point of view when we don’t act like Christians. Additionally,
no one can act in God’s ways if they don’t know how those ways apply to them. To
be able to show them how, to be able to set a good example, we have to
understand what’s important to them and why.
How much respect do I earn if I smother a co-worker with
stories about how great my parents are, only two weeks after their mother has
passed away? Does it do me much good to hype up a worship night to someone when
they have no interest in music? How do I approach teaching a high schooler
about God’s plan for their life and relationship if their parents are divorced?
To earn people’s respect, bring them in, and influence them, we have to know
their situations and what’s to important them.
More importantly, we have to take account of ourselves and
check our own credibility. It does a high school student no good to talk to others
about all-inclusive love and kindness if she is a jerk to everyone outside of
her own group of friends. A man will struggle to convince other men of God’s
intent for sex and relationships if he is always crass, perverted, demeaning,
and unable to commit to anything. A lesson about the importance of treasures in
Heaven versus the treasures of this world falls on deaf ears when it is given by
someone who has driven themselves into debt for the biggest house and the
newest car.
In order to be influencers we have to earn the respect of
others. To be able to do that, we have to empathize with others and earn
credibility for ourselves. That can only be done by paying attention to those
around us and knowing their situations, traits, and values. We can only
effectively do that by “caring what they think” and being ready to “answer to”
them.
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